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Saturday, January 28, 2006I just watched an Yngve Malmsteen video, something about "Into the Light". It could be my favorite video ever. Now Iron Maiden is playing, Bruce Dickenson is screaming "666 - THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST!" They've got these guys in red longjohns and devil masks and a couple ballroom dancing on stage in a tuxedo and ballgown. They each have a big 6 on their back as if they are in some sort of competition. The guy twirls the girl and at the end of the spin she appears with a wookie mask on. The beast indeed. I'm watching a two hour version of Metal Mania. Vixen is on. I love leather chick with lots of hair, who rock. hurray! Now it's Diamond Dave himself, singing "Crazy From The Heat." Every shot has him in a new leotard. Steve Vai is playing a guitar carved and painted to look like flames.Metallica doing their gay black tank top thing. Don't they know that black wife beaters are as much of a sign as back pocket bandanas? Not that there's anything wrong with it but I don't think that's the image they're trying to portray. Anyway they still rock. Hang on, Danzig's "Mother" is on. He really is the Metal Elvis Midget. Here comes Black Sabbath, old footage of "Paranoid", Ozzy moves around more now. I wrote a letter to Ozzy when I was about 14. I wrote it in cryptic script and burned the edges. Accept - Balls To The Wall. Holy shit, the german Bonn Scott. Didn't know he ever existed. Here comes Twisted Sister with "Hot Love Girls", cars, babes and Dee Snyder sans make up. The best is the chick with the TS logo lollypop. Wow, Great White's on. Poor bastards disregarded the very first rule of performance. NEVER KILL YOUR AUDIENCE. Once bitten, twice shy, three on a match. Now it's Europe with there mega-nowhere song, "Cherokee." Who knew they had another song besides "Final Countdown?" This is amazing, metal heads in the desert with their pretty boy lead singer singing, "Cher-o-keeeeee! Marching on the trail of tears! Oooaaaaahhhhhh yyyyeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhh!" With a total Pinball Wizard rip off lick. Wait, there's David Lee Roth again doing "Yankee Rose". Holy pig fuck! What the hell is he wearing? Some sort of shiny silver unitard thong crotch thing. I can't type 'cause I'm laughing so hard. Alice Cooper, The Coop doing "Teenage Frankenstein." Terrible song but it's Alice, so we have some serious visuals going on. Motley Crue w/ their video remake of "Home Sweet Home." Power ballads. Sweeeeeeeeeeeet. If you haven't read their book, The Dirt, I highly recommend it. Hey Motorhead's doing "God Save The Queen." I didn't know they covered that. At least it's better than when Motley Crue covered "Anarchy In The UK", it was all over after that. The line between punk and hair metal was permanently smudged after that. Speaking of punk, watch the documentary Punk Attitude. It's fucking great. Okay, two posts on my blog in one day. Can your heart stand it? posted by Wammo at 1:03 PM
Comments:
Holy Crap! Motorhead? Yngve??? Such sentimental sounds... I nearly lost my virginity to a Megadeath song, but we switched the tape to GNR right before the big moment. Too bad you didn't see Faster Pussycat's "Bathroom Wall"---I just adore that tune (Metal Years anyone?), and am working on a ukulele cover of it for the Lucky Devil Girly Show's upcoming production, an all 80's revue. ***Chickadee
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